The Zig Zag of Practice

Sometimes you walk a straight line and then a roadblock presents itself right in front of you. Due to the various health issues that have become my personal roadblocks, I have barely played any music in the last 4 months. In fact, almost all of my gear is packed up in my basement studio, like is was a few months ago when I had it ready to go for a gig I never played. 

 I have had restrictions on not lifting anything over 10 pounds/4.54Kg. Now if you are a percussionist, 95% of the gear you own weighs over 10 pounds! So even setting up my stands and unpacking things is out of the question. Even the act of picking up sticks or mallets has been out of the question, because the act of lifting my arms and striking an instrument is too much strain. As it stands, my everyday connection and practice of playing music has ground to a halt.

Practice is never a straight line to a fixed goal. It is always a mixture of moments of confusion and moments of clarity, periods of discouragement and periods of aspiration, times of feeling like a failure and times of going deeper.—Ezra Bayda, “Reflect, Without Thinking”

In the meantime I've had to adjust my course. This blog has become one adjustment. Writing a book has become another. But at first I could barely muster the energy to type out words. So I thought. When I had clarity, I thought. When I didn't have clarity, I let myself drift on the current of healing. I have continually made adjustments to my course. I've also abandoned expectations, because each day has presented itself as something different. It's been impossible to try and navigate a straight line.

 And through all of this, 
I have been frustrated. 
I have been discouraged.
I have been confused.
I have been utterly shattered to pieces.

 But in the midst of all this,
I have hung in there.
I have kept moving forward.
I have found my deeper self.

 I have learned that my art is internal, not external.

 No matter what happens, 
I still have my art.
I still am my art.

 And I still have my art as a spiritual practice, even if it comes up against many detours and roadblocks.

 Your Practice is always you.

 ~ MB



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Facing Your Fears In An Uncertain World

We live in uncertain times. But people have always lived in uncertain times. If there wasn't the threat of war, there was the threat of famine, or plague, or some sort of catastrophe. Today we turn on the news, or go on the internet, and we are assaulted with instant reporting of frightening events around the globe. It seems like madness is everywhere. But it's always been that way, it's just that now we are able to see things live and in surround sound on a big screen, safe in our own homes. But are we really safe? Or are we just frightened by this instant connection to the world around us. As artists, we face fears everyday: Will my work be rejected?  Will I be inspired and creative today?  Will somebody steal my ideas?  Will somebody get more publicity or shows than me? Will I be able to make enough money and pay my bills? Will the world continue to fall all around me? Many of these fears are real, but some of them are magnified out of pr...
Read more

Art In Uncertain Times

Image
While we always seem to live in uncertain times, today, with the Corona virus sweeping around the world, things are even more uncertain. The end of the world as we know it. Businesses are closed. Events are canceled. People are being asked to stay home and avoid contact with others. If you are a performing artist, this is especially difficult, as you are not able to go out into the world and present your art. Not being able to perform means not making any money. And that make an already difficult situation even more so for most of us. Many artists are barely able to keep ahead of the bills as is.  And in the grand scheme of things, we, the ordinary people,   appear to have little control over what is happening.  But we have control of our art. In dire times, artists continued to create. Artists also continued to tell the truth. When all around you  seems to be crashing down, you still have your art, so continue to create because at times like these we...
Read more

Everything changes, nothing remains without change

Image
The title, "Everything changes, nothing remains without change" , is a quote attributed to the Buddha. And so it is that our world is made of impermanence. There have been changes in my life since the whole Covid lockdown, one of which is letting my old blogs go. Over the course of 11 years, I wrote and published 730 posts across 4 different blogs!  That's a lot of writing.  That's a lot of transmission and communication.  That's a major part of my life. But that was then, the past. Today, new shoots have sprouted from the seeds that I planted. My YouTube channel is going strong, with a weekly video. And I have recently moved my efforts to Patreon , where I have a new blog , exclusive videos, exclusive audio, Zoom calls, and other transmissions based around my work as a writer and musician. If you've read any of these blogs here, then you know what I'm all about, so I invite you to meet me over on Patreon, where I can actually get paid something for all t...
Read more